remembering the fallen

remember the cheery list of all the hermit crabs we had? well, this list is of a more somber nature:

the Ecuadorians: Strong Bad, Hoss, Monkey, Ace, Brak, Weebl, Domino, Jibbi and Creature.
the Caribbeans: Chief

These are the crabs we've lost so far since we had the complete set of twenty. Monkey died the other day. Weebl went last night during an unsuccessful attempt to start molting. I'm inclined to agree with Brad at this point. I think all the Ecuadorians (except maybe the new Hoss cos he's kinda big and seems pretty hearty) are going to die. Newer ones included (new Ace, Ed is newish).

Sad. All this time and money and we're going to end up losing over half of what we built in the crabitat. I just hope it's not a metaphor for our own lives. I think I'm just paranoid thinking like that. Anyway, it's sad. Poor little bastards. What can we do?

work in progress

This entry shall be a departure from the day of hell that today was. A departure from reality to fantasy. Not my fantasy so much as a world of my creation and characters under my control... to a fair extent. Remember that glorious epic I started to write, like, months ago? This is all I have written in all that time:

Zero lit a cigarette. The fumes from the lighter stung his nostrils a little. The sharp clank of his lighter shutting echoed around him in the darkness. He squinted through the smoke at the body in front of him. It was already starting to stink. The stink wasn’t what was bothering him.

He didn’t want to have to kill Gretchen but she had become one of them and he had no choice. He wanted to turn, to walk away and not look back but he couldn’t bring himself to look away. She was slowly disintegrating in front of him, her red dress sinking to the ground. He finished his cigarette and flicked it onto what was left of her body. Her dress caught fire. He turned away. He walked out of the house and lit another cigarette with his smelly lighter. He stood on the porch and looked up at the stars.

“I’m sorry, Gretchen.” His breath was caught in his throat a moment. He shook it off and walked down the three steps to the walkway in front of the dilapidated shack. He took the path to where he had left his car.

“I’m sorry.” He opened the car door and dropped himself in the seat. He closed the door and sat quiet for a moment before sliding his key in the ignition and starting the engine.

The silver boat slid up and over and down the intermittent hills of the Unholy Desert like a slow glistening bullet. “That piece of junk,” as Gretchen had once referred to it, was one of the last automobiles in the whole world of Oru and Zero’s pride and joy. He liked to think there were still occasional desert folk who could see and admire his car from a distance as he drove through the desert at sunrise.
--------------------
any good so far? do I have a hook?

adulthood

There are times where I'm amazed at where I am and what I do on a daily basis. When I'm amazed at how together I seem to be at times, even amidst all this chaos and disorder. I look around this apartment at my kitchen and bathroom and responsibility and I just don't know how I even got to a place where these things could be mine. I'm proud of it and I revel in it sometimes.

I had a bad nightmare last night. I should have known it was a nightmare from the first detail but, my dreams have been so vivid lately, I thought it was real. I had a dream we got an eviction notice that said something about a lag in payment and how we were stupid to think we could get away with it for that long. I heard the door open and when I went to look to see who was just barging in our apartment, support manager Steve from work was tacking the notice on our wall, next to the door. That was the detail that should have tipped me off from the beginning that it was a dream. Why would Steve be here putting up a notice from the management of the apartment complex? I really shouldn't worry this much about it. If it was that big of a deal, the manager would have never let me renew my lease to begin with. And I've been over-paying a little on the last payment I make of the month. They get there money, plus a little extra when possible. I think we're ok. I hope we're ok. We've been ok this long. Do I worry too much? I'm always worried, it seems. It's like we can never have enough money to cover things and we're goin to be taking a cut for a while to boot. Not a huge cut, it'll be like what we had a few months ago. And our expenses aren't too bad. I dunno. Time will tell.

All I want is for us to be happy together and to not have to worry about every little thing. I feel like if I don't cover every tiny detail, that's just asking for the unexpected to pop up and fuck up everything we've built so far.

*Bleaarrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhh* this is my day off, I shouldn't be thinkin about this shit. I'm gonna chill until I feel it is necessary for me to get up and take care of something.

Peace outside x

summer cleaning

I'm in a frenzy... or some shit. Cleaning, shopping. Shopping for cleaning. I spent like $80 of Brad's money today *wtf?*

Granted, it was all necessary stuff. I did buy a little more food but, over the last couple of days, I've mainly bought things for the apartment that I should have had a long time ago. Finally, I'll be able to clean this place properly... when I do clean, which I'm hoping to make a regular thing again. I can't guarantee that when class starts, though. Sure, I'm just now in the swing of time management, etc, but that will all change rapidly as of September 6th. I don't even wanna think about it.

Probably the thing I'm most excited about purchasing (I know this is really lame), apart from Cleo's new refillable catnip toy and the Amy Brown fairy clad air freshener that will de-assify my car once and for all, is my brand new Swiffer. I got both the wet and dry pads to aid in the cleaning of the kitchen and bathroom floors. I also got one of those Clorox bath wands with which to clean the tub and shower. This place is shaping up nicely to its original cleanliness. I even got a little trash can for the livingroom to discourage popcan pile-up by the sofa. And a laundry basket to make those pesky trips to the laundrette a little easier.

I feel pretty good about how things are falling into place with the apartment, etc. I just hope the manager doesn't all of a sudden start hassling me about the way I've been paying rent. She shouldn't. Sure it's paid late and in two payments, but those payments are always consistent and the rent plus fees gets paid in full every month. I guess we're doin good. Maybe. Maybe I don't wanna put that in writing. All right, we're doin ok. How's that? Yeah, that's less presumptuous and fate-tempting.

Yeah, I can't feel too good about things until I find out officially what status I'm goin to have at work. Apparently, all cashiers are hired in at part time and though I had been receiving full time hours, I was not supposed to be because, technically, I'm part time. The folks allowing us to have those hours got in trouble for it so now they are only allowed to schedule us per our status. I was told I could get changed to full time and I didn't worry anything about it until I talked to the manager that would be in charge of switching my status today. According to him, there might be certain factors that could possibly stand in my way, i.e. attendance and availability. I don't think these people realize how badly I need the money. I'm hoping he bought my car trouble story so he overlooks some of my absences/tardies and also understands the situation with my availability because Brad and I both work and have only one car between us and I also have to go to school. I told him, if I couldn't work full time, I couldn't live. I hope that helps cos I don't know much else that can. Guess I just gotta keep my fingers crossed.

Well, I'm gonna go to bed soon so I can be rested for my last day before a day off from that fuckin place. Until this magical shift in hours (if I don't get switched to full time/don't get switched in time for the new schedule posting) I will be getting all my hours apart from the 3 or 4 that were cut this pay period. Brad says we'll be ok regardless cos he's getting full time hours now but I'd like to be sure plus I like the money I've been getting on those 80 hour checks. It's nice to have a little extra from time to time. Anyways, here's hopin.

'Night 'night, kids x

deep thoughts

Maybe it's because it's the end of the summer or maybe I'm a little sentimental (or maybe a little of both) or the EVP I've been checking out online, but I've been thinkin a lot about life lately. I can't be bothered to write about it now, partly because it seems whenever I get mushy about Brad or life or even Cleo something bad happens and life poops all over me again. Soooo... I'm going to sit here on my fabric-refreshed sofa and finish watching my digitally recorded soap.

good night x

wtf?

what the fuck, LimeWire?

how does a search titled KISS Meets the Phantom pull up shit called amputee gets fucked with her own crutch? HOW? I ask.

the devil's puppets

excerpts from today's chat with Cindy:

Cindy: u too
Cindy: wow
Cindy: you and Amy think allot
Cindy: alike
Me: haha
Cindy: you cam one just a second after she did
Me: I'm only visible to you
Cindy: aww
Cindy: I feel loved
Me: I'm feeling better tonight
Me: Brad was so sweet
Me: He picked up the livingroom yesterday while I was at work. Because I had to clean out the car all by myself (a particularly disgusting job) he did all the dishes by hand and cleaned out the sink plus the garbage disposal
Me: and when I was wasn't feeling good last night, he tucked me in the bed and told me that if the laundry didn't get done by the morning like I wanted to have done it wouldn't be the end of the world, that I didn't have anything to think about doing but feeling better.
Me: he does hear me after all
Cindy: how sweet
Me: he said he thought I was trying to do too much and he realized it was wearing on me, he figured he'd help out since he knows he's going to have to start doing more soon
Me: he's going to have to anyway
Me: might as well get used to it
Me: shit, I won't even do the dishes by hand if I can help it. we ran out of dishwasher stuff and I thought, oh shit! all our dishes are dirty, now what?
Me: that's taken care of
Me: Hello? Hello? Anybody there? Echo!
Cindy: here
Cindy:
Me: did Amy just send you a Jesus thing?
Cindy: she sent me something
Me: it says to send it back if you know the Lord
Cindy: I havn't looked yet
Me: I'm not sending it back
Cindy: did she send you a bush one? a week ago it was
Me: the one about putting prayer back in schools?
Cindy: I dunno what is wrong with that girl.....
Cindy: yeah
Cindy: it made me mad
Me: it said if I deleted it I would break the chain to get the petition to the White House so, what do you think I did with it?
Cindy: deleted it
Me: damn right
Cindy: I sent it to everyone whose email address was on it and sent a nasty later with it.....someone replied and wasn't happy
Cindy: lol
Me: lol, what did you say?
Me: they do realize it's unconstitutional to force kids to pray in class, right?
Me: oh shit, this is great. I'm forwarding you an e-mail you must look at right away, ok?
Cindy: I told them that everyone has the right to believe in what they want to believe in. and that it wasn't right to force religon on anyone. and that but was the devil's puppet anyway
Cindy: I also said how much I was pissed off about the whole issue
Cindy: oh it was quite nasty
Me: hahahaha
Me: man, Yahoo! is all kinds of fuckin up tonight
Me: I keep getting errors in my e-mail stuff
Cindy: got it
-----------------------------
Me: this tv of Brad's is great
Me: it's like we have a new much bigger tv
Cindy: I am missing ghost hunters
Cindy: I will watch it when it come back on later I guess
Me: shit is that on now?
Cindy: I think
Me: then why am I watching plastic surgery
Cindy: last weeks was on
Cindy: I dunno
Cindy: I love ghost hunters
Cindy: I have been watching it since the first season
Cindy: and if you watch it at night all by yourself it can get really scary
Me: yeah, it's almost over
Cindy: like I think I see things at the windows or in the house
Cindy: and it isn't anything at all
Cindy: lol
Cindy: quite funny it is
Me: I've been watching it since last week
Cindy: oh man
Cindy: you have missed out on some good ones
Cindy: go to TAPS
Me: do they ever actually find anything?
Cindy: and find the prison footage
Cindy: oh man
Cindy: it is cool as hell
Cindy: yeah
Cindy: sometimes they do
Me: I take it that's rare
Me: I'm gonna end up blocking Amy from emailing me
Cindy: just delete it
Me: this has to be the third Christian oriented e-mail she's forwarded me today!! just in the last couple of hours!
Cindy: second one for me
Me: digital cable should be viewed on a big tv
Me: we don't need my mom's tv
Me: it'd be too big
Me: I've got to have children some day
Cindy: really?
Cindy: for what
Cindy: labor?
Cindy: make em' do your house work?
Me: my mom's icon is my stepsister's baby
Cindy: oh
Me: it's like those kids are her grandkids when I should be the one to produce her grandkids
Cindy: i c
Cindy: sorry
Me: I know, jealousy is lame but, goddammit - I'm her daughter
Cindy: left hand typing
Cindy: i agree
Cindy: don't blame u
Cindy: 4 feeling
Cindy: the way u do
Me: I finally got my period
Me: now I wish I hadn't
Cindy: oooh kelli
Me: not because of that but because it's a bad period
--------------------------------------
Me: what'd ya think of Buck Fush
Me: ?
Cindy: very good
Cindy: anything that poos on bush is good
Me: that's not even the best site
Me: there's a great one with this Don Knotts movie thing
Me: lemme see if I can find it
Me: http://www.dubyamovie.com/large.html
-------------------------------------------------
Me: did you watch that movie?
Cindy: after this show it should be ghost hunters.....I know they always show ghost hunters twice
Cindy: er
Cindy: hang on
Cindy: that was good
Me: have you seen Tom Cruise kill Oprah?
Cindy: no
Me: one sec
Me: http://mirror.randomfoo.net/memes/2005/06/Tom_Cruise_Kills_Oprah.mov
Me: lol
Me: gets me every time
Cindy: lol
Me: awwww, I love my Cleo
Me: I want a camera for my birthday
Cindy: I thought you had one
Me: that way I can post all kinds of pics of my Cleo etc
Cindy: I see
Cindy: I have to give some meds to my cat
Cindy: brb
Me: I have that dv cam but all the stuff went to my old 'puter
Me: ok
Me: plus, it didn't take very good pictures, just video
-----------------------------------------------------------
Me: you work tomorrow?
Cindy: yep
Me: oh
Cindy: til seven
Cindy: yeah
Me: well, I don't *props feet up on imaginary ottoman*
Me: well, I'm sure I'll catch ya after you get home
Cindy: ok
Cindy:
Me:
Me: *hugs*
Me: 'night kiddo
Cindy: nite

5 years

Me: you'll never guess who I just talked to online
Cindy: Brett
Cindy: Roger Taylor
Cindy: Freddy Mercury
Me: Candy
Cindy: wow
Cindy: How is she?
Me: her English sucks
Cindy: lol
Cindy: same problem Oralia and I had
Me: we didn't talk long, she had to go
Cindy: how did you find her?
Me: I just saw her online and made myself visible and she said hi like lightning
Cindy: wow
Cindy: did she remember you
Me: she added me a while back and I accepted the invite to add her as well
Me: she's always remembered me
Me: still sends me cards once in a blue moon and emails me sometimes
Cindy: that is sweet
Me: that was the first time we actually talked live in 5 years
Cindy: wow
Me: I know
Me: Freddie Mercury?
Cindy: lol
Me: actually, I probably have a bigger chance of talking to him online than I do Brett lol
Cindy: true
Cindy: cute
Me: looks kinda like a flea
Me: a French flea
Me: cos fleas have that French look, you know?
Cindy: lol
Cindy: they do
Me: GAWD I'm so tired
Me: I cleaned out my car today
Cindy: wow
Cindy: did you find anything?
Me: I found Brad's keys that I lost months ago
Me: I found my Evanescence cd broken clean in half
Me: I found the case to the KISS symphony album
Me: I found a working orange lighter that probably got lost months ago
Cindy: wow...broken in half
Me: is wow like your word tonight?
Cindy: yeah like wow
Cindy: I dunno why
Cindy: lol
Me: who are you, Ben Stein?
Cindy: nop
Cindy: nope
Me: lol
Cindy: Shaggy
Me: like my new icon>
Me: ?
Cindy: oh
Cindy: I like it
Me: that's the instant she sees him in the crowd before those people pass by and he disappears
Me: and he's no longer there
Me: I can't decide if when I get Brad up I want to stay up with him a while or if i just want to go to bed
Me: I'm tired but today was supposed to be my day off and I spent most of it slaving away at my car at my mom's house
Me: I want to do day off kind of stuff before I have to go back to work tomorrow
Cindy: like drink
Cindy: come to my house
Cindy: I have everything we need
Cindy: well the basics
Me: no, like play games or watch a movie or maybe even have sex if I'm lucky (which I most likely won't be - he'll have heartburn or something lame)
Me: I've pretty much given up drinking
Me: I'm afraid if I did drink now, I'd end up like I was
Me: maybe it's a good thing I've been too poor to drink
Cindy: maybe
Cindy: i have rum and orange juice. two different orangejuices
Me: if I get a couple of days off when Brad doesn't need the car, maybe we can get together for old times sake
Me: well, I guess I'm gonna go wake him up
Me: try to figure out what I'm gonna do
Cindy: ok
Me: in case I don't catch you later, 'night
Me: *hug*
Cindy: nite
Cindy: *hug*

yet another loss

Goodbye Strong Bad. You were the first and the favorite. You had the longest run of all. You will be missed. You were a trooper.

Rest in peace x

oh, by the way

We lost two more hermit crabs recently. Creature died while molting and our first and still smallest Caribbean, Chief, died out of the blue. Hermit crabs are dying left and right, the apartment's a disaster, we have overdue bills and still have to split the rent into payments, after a brief interlude of compassion and understanding my mom's gone back to being a snobby bitch, I have little to no appetite and believe I may be slowly starving myself to death, I'm over a week late for my period, Brad takes me for granted and work enrages me to the point I almost pass out.
Things are good, yeah?

how do I win a date with Brad?

Me: you were right
Me: read my diary
Cindy: ok
Cindy: omg what happend?
Me: it's like that other stuff never happened
Me: things went back to normal
Cindy: she is back to normal?
Cindy: lol
Cindy: you read my mind
Me: sucks
Me: it's like I got a taste of how perfect things could be with my mom and then business went on as usual
Me: so I'm going back to limiting my contact with he
Me: r
Me: thus the almost constant invisibility
Cindy: oh my....what did she do? was she being mean?
Me: nah, just normal
Me: you need to do this and you need to do that
Cindy: I see
Me: and that conversation about school
Me: isn't it so perfectly orchestrated that she told me if I didn't wanna go it'd be ok after she paid the tuition and I was stuck?
Me: cos not only am I stuck going this quarter, but I have to stick it thru however long it's gonna take cos I can't change my mind now
Me: that had to be intentional
Cindy: wow
Cindy: she got you stuck in a corner?
Me: conveniently enough for her
Me: why didn't I say anything then?
Me: even then I had a miniscule chance of maybe getting out of it and looking at tech schools like I want to now
Me: you know what's messed up
Me: I really do have a choice but I can't make it cos I let her control me... all because of money and guilt
Me: shmoo
Me: how are you
Me: I'm over a week late for my period
Me: how are you?
Cindy: I just had a period
Cindy: so I guess I'm good
Me: I should buy a test... but I don't have the money
Cindy: any changes with yer body?
Cindy: do you crave weird stuff
Me: and I'm definitely not gonna ask my mom for it
Me: no
Cindy: or do you not have an appitite at all
Cindy: good idea
Cindy: I think it is due to stress
Me: more than likely
Cindy: so don't worry about it
Me: I've had PMS for like 2 or 3 weeks
Me: worst PMS ever
Me: borderline anxiety attacks, the shakes
Me: no appetite
Me: breasts are sore but not hard, stomach is bloated but not solid at all
Me: I've been gettin really bad cramps today goin down into my legs but no bleeding
Me: it's stress, right?
Me: I've never really been regular
Me: and every now and then, I'll be 2 or 3 weeks late for no reason
Me: that's what happened when i first got with Brad
Me: I was already like a week late when I first had sex with him and I didn't start for at least another week
Cindy: yeah
Cindy: it's norma
Cindy: normal
Cindy: and considering the stress you have been under
Me: yeah
Me: my anxiety disorder's been acting up again
Cindy: I have been having anxiety attacks at work
Cindy: Every fucking day I work, around lunch time
Me: very nearly
Cindy: at first I didn't know what it was
Cindy: but then I realized I only had them at a certain time and always at work
Me: it's not so much I start to panic as just a rage comes over me and this urge to just explode or pass out or whatever
Me: I start to shake and I lose my breath
Cindy: I get dizzy and my heart is pounds really hard and I can't breath
Cindy: starts to
Cindy: boy did I mess that up
Me: yeah, my heart races and then pounds so hard I think it's going to explode out of my chest
Me: and I get lightheaded
Cindy: I have a heart mur mur.....think I spelled that wrong. Which I already knew but Amy heart it once and then the doctor further confirmed it
Me: my vitals were fine the last they got checked
Cindy: not heart it once but heard it once
Cindy: the doc said it was very noticable
Cindy: but he said I would be alright
Cindy: sometimes it freaks me out though
Me: *phone*
Me: I knew I wasn't get a moments peace tonight
Me: ok
Me: he calls me like every five minutes
Me: I can never just relax when I'm home and he's at work
Me: as long as he knows i'm awake, he calls and calls and calls
Cindy: do you do the same to him?
Me: no, cos I don't have the time nor the means
Cindy: Tom use to call me on his luch break everyday
Me: I guess he gets bored
Me: cos it's 3rd shift and pretty slow
Me: even if I could, I wouldn't wanna call him ever 5 seconds from work
Me: *every
Me: damn y key
Cindy: lol
Cindy: Did you know I was doing that?
Cindy: 拜託你......拜託、拜託(撒嬌貌)
Me: doing what?
Cindy: scribbling
Me: I could see it
Cindy: oh
Cindy: I have a date with Tom
Cindy: i gotta go
Cindy: sorry
Me: ok
Me: bye
Cindy: I will try to be back later if it's not too late
Me: wish i had a date
Me: ok
Me: if not, don't sweat it
Cindy: k
Cindy: bye
Cindy has signed out. (8/14/2005 11:48 PM)

yeah right (stupid me)

Remember when it was brought up on here that my mom was being really cool and supportive and I thought maybe she finally was getting that I'm an adult and I have to live my own life? Scratch every goddamn word of that. It's like it never happened.

debtor's prison

For my upcoming (well, in October) birthday, I asked my mom if she could help pay off my (yet again) overdue bills. That's all the more I wanna say about that. If I talk too much about bills, I'll probably have a panic attack or just plain get ultra-depressed. Neither are healthy. I'm off to play more [free] downloaded games.

'Night x

death & destruction

Tigger passed away. One of our favorite hermit crabs, Ace, died today. Brad says he thinks all the Ecuadorians are going to die. We're still not sure why they're dying like this. He's not buying any more crabs for a while. I'm worried.

Oh yeah, and Peter Jennings is dead.

On a lighter note, a source says key figures in the Bush administration (Bush included) are facing some nasty charges, among them perjury and murder. If this source speaks the truth, those bastards may just get what they deserve after all. Let's take 'em down!!

The Brak Show is coming on - Woo hoo!! - I'm outtie x

today

I don't even wanna write about today (actually yesterday). For the most part, it was a rotten day. CSM Sondra is a fucking Nazi cunt and I hate hate hate her. Hate.

There, I feel better now.

'night x

P.S.: I love McDonald's pretzels!

the school of life

I got a random e-mail from that annoying Classmates.com thing about my five year high school reunion. I have no interest in going to it but I visited the site cos it said I could see a list of my graduating class. I was curious to see how many people I could actually remember. It turns out I remember quite a many while others whose names are familiar seem very foggy. Five years. I'll admit I'm ashamed that I haven't gotten very far in life since high school. Most of those people who went to college have probably graduated by now. I read one girl is in the Air Force and loving it. What have I done?

My mom came to pay my Fall Quarter tuition the other day. We actually had a candid discussion and she was way cool. She said that if I had decided I didn't want to continue to go to Wright State she'd support my decision. Of course, this was said at lunch after tuition had already been paid. I told her I felt like everyone thought I was a waste and a disappointment. She told me she didn't think that way. It was really weird. She was so nice. So nice that she took me shopping at Meijer and bought me new towels and pillows and a blanket. WTF? And she gave me like $90 for gas. It was very strange. She was acting kind of strange, nothing like she had been over the last few months. I think she realizes I made certain choices, some I regret, some I stand by. I think she realizes how serious I am about life now and that I finally want to do things right. And I think she also realizes how serious I am about Brad. She knows we love each other and stand by each other. Most importantly, she realizes I'm an adult.

I am an adult. No, I'm not always going to do everything right but I own my mistakes. No one gets it right all the time. My mom even said that, that no one has all the answers. We do the best we can. I feel pretty good about my direction. And I do want to continue at Wright State. It's going to take me forever, but I want to finish what I started five years ago. Besides, if I have to work at Wal*Mart for the rest of my life, I will go insane and someone will probably get hurt.

Peace x

dropping like crabs

We've had like 4 or 5 crabs die in the last couple of weeks. Lemme see if I've been able to keep up with all the death and destruction: Hoss died, then like 2 or 3 of them died in one day... errrm, I don't remember the order anymore but I think Ziggy, Brak, Domino and Jibbi are the ones who followed. I think those are all we lost. Brad seems to think the ones who are dying are sick and have been for a long time. He thinks it's related to the fact we used tap water for so long before we switched to spring water. Or, that they may not have been able to molt like they needed to and that killed them. The newer ones seem fine. We have a couple of brand new guys, too. One is yet unnamed and the other is Hoss II, the tribute (even though I think he's too pretty to be called Hoss, he's multicolored). Strong Bad (the original of the originals) is still hangin on even though Brad insists he's not well. I hope he doesn't die. He's the only one of the very first crabs we ever got that's still around. He's been here since the beginning. It'd be a shame to see him go. The big guys are doin great, they never seem to do bad... except the one that died a long while back. Ogre was the second really big guy we had. I think Thor picked on him too much and he just couldn't take it. Now we have even bigger ones to keep Thor in line. He's kind of a bully.

Well, I haven't been feeling well all day so I'm gonna do something that takes less thought and focus, like watch the digital cable we just had installed temporarily. After the price goes up in 3 months, we're gonna cancel it, but for now we're taking advantage of the limited deal Time Warner is currently offering. We have On Demand and everything. It's fuckin sweet.

Auf Wiedersehen x

where everything seems possible and nothing is what it seems

these are just a few of my faves, too many altogether to post here. I already crashed IE once trying to post just these few. I edited out the black part of the widescreen and converted the png files to jpeg so they wouldn't impede the loading progress. enjoy.

he who seeks revenge should dig two graves

I learned how to capture screenshots :-) 

Gingie Pie 539

Me: the zephman lives
Ginger : holy shit what's up
Me: zephwoman
Ginger : aha
Me: actuallly
Me: but zephman sounds better
Ginger : totally
Me: I miss you so much
Ginger : zephmeister
Me: I'm so lame
Ginger : lol
Me: I quote you to keep you alive in my heart
Ginger : i miss you too, did you get the internet turned back on?
Ginger : haha which quotes
Me: all of em
Me: hey, today, somebody's total came to $5.39 and they gave me exact change, nigga
Ginger : haahaha
Ginger : d00d the other day i was at sears in the electronic section
Ginger : and all the clocks were set to 539 and i thought of you
Me: whoa
Me: wtf happened to my avatar?
Me: ok, there I am
Ginger : i dunno d00d i can';t see it
Ginger : ahh there it is
Me: I guess when I changed it last I forgot to save it
Ginger : d00d i'm on a laptop
Ginger : my mom bought me a laptop with her sears card haha
Me: as am I
Me: my mom bought me a laptop with her I dunno card
Ginger : cuz she's filing bankruptcy and maxing out her cards beforehand
Me: I intend to someday win the lottery and pay everybody back I owe money to
Me: especially her
Me: good work
Me: you still in Georgia?
Ginger : yep
Me: how's that goin?
Ginger : i got a job and we're on food stamps haa
Ginger : great
Me: awesome
Ginger : brb i gotta look for a lighter so we can smoke some resin we just extracted hah
Me: okie, I got a phone call anyway
Me: I'll brb too
Me: blah blah blah
Me: I'm tryin to get off
Me: give me a sec
Ginger : lol ok
Me: yap yap yap
Me: *talkie motion with hand*
Ginger : hhaha
Ginger : who is it
Me: Brad calling from work
Me: he's bored
Me: really fucking bored
Me: I'm trying to get off but he keeps yapping
Me: harder to get rid of him than Cindy lol
Ginger : lolol
Ginger : do you have a job yet?
Me: you know I have a job
Me: you visited me there
Me: with Nikki
Me: remember? I sold my soul to Wal*Mart
Me: who'd you sell your soul to?
Ginger : oh yea that's right lol
Ginger : are you still cashiering?
Me: yeah
Ginger : i sold my soul to friedman marketing
Me: what's that?
Ginger : i heckle people in the mall to do market research surveys
Ginger : for cash money and sometimes samples
Me: that actually sounds kinda fun
Me: does that pay ok?
Me: I tried for foodstamps a while back but, of course, I make too much money
Ginger : it pays 6.50 an hour
Me: that's how much Brad makes
Me: he just transferred stores and will be gettin full time now so it's not bad
Ginger : plus we get to make up surveys sometimes and get paid for them
Me: that is sweet
Ginger : that's cool
Ginger : yea extra cash is good haha
Me: I'd love that
Me: except I wouldn't know where to begin to make up a survey
Me: sorry, had to do a quick fave
Me: I'm officially back now
Me: he wanted me to call his brother and give him his work number so he could talk to him
Me: cos I'm busy dammit
Ginger : haha word
Me: I'm so glad I finally caught you online
Me: I don't think a day goes by I don't think about ya
Ginger : we don't make up the surveys, we just find people to take them and then ask the questions and shit
Ginger : awww <3
Me: I thought you said you get to make up surveys
Me: or is that make up missed surveys
Me: I've got a pic with you on my blog
Me: have you seen my new blog?
Ginger : oh lol no we get to make them up as in fill them out for nonexistent people
Ginger : nope, what's the link
Me: ohhh
Me: funny
Me: errrrm
Me: hang on
Ginger : yea we do that if we haven't filled our quota when the job's due
Me: http://lorange-livre.blogspot.com/
Ginger : haha l'orange life
Ginger : that's awesome
Me: haha, I know
Ginger : so have you hung out with nikki lately
Me: I haven't seen her in a while
Me: she's still goin to school this summer, about to graduate
Me: I feel so dumb, I'm never gonna graduate
Me: I have two Nikkis now
Me: there's Nikki and then there's Nikki from work
Ginger : haha that's alot of nikkis
Me: indeed
Ginger : lol d00d my roommates and i are so ghetto
Me: why
Ginger : we're smoking resin out of a pipe made from a pot pie pan and lighting it with a candle hahahha
Me: lol
Me: Brad still smokes pot
Me: at least we can almost sort of afford it now
Ginger : haha that's cool
Me: we can afford little extras here and there now
Ginger : those little extras are like beautiful when you're poor haha
Me: I ended up selling almost all my dvds
Ginger : like living a home i took so much for granted
Ginger : haha yea i sold my ps2
Me: now, I'm starting to get into a position where I can buy instead of sell
Me: we have that gamecube still
Ginger : lol where'd you get a camecube
Me: I neat that Sims game with like 4 or 5 different characters
Me: I got it at work
Ginger : lol awesome
Me: put it in layaway
Me: used my discount
Ginger : hell yea, walmart is the shit lol
Me: enh
Me: it's got low prices
Ginger : ok we're about to go for a bikeride to find a hat that we losta hah on the side of the road earlier and we're super high s
Me: it's ok
Me: fun
Ginger : woah this touchpad screws up the text
Ginger : i said we lost a hat haha
Me: hehe
Me: you didn't lose a hat?
Ginger : alright, i should be online more often now since i got my own computer so we'll def talk later
Me: sweeeeet
Ginger : no we did lose a hat, it said we losta hah lol
Me: we can talk about the mocies I added to my now very small dvd collection
Me: oh
Me: that sentence is all messed up now that I look at it
Me: lol
Me:
Ginger : hahha
Me:
Ginger : ok i'll talk to you later <3
Me: I can't wait
Me:
Ginger :
Me:
Ginger has signed out. (8/1/2005 1:50 AM)