damn

I really had no idea what was really important in life when I wrote these things, did I? All my old journals are so melodramatic and petty. I'm so embarrassed to read them. I apologize to all those I subjected to my nonsense. Christ.

promises, promises

I believe I may just be able to overcome my laziness and stupidity and keep my promise/goal of finishing school/getting a real job/career by the time I'm thirty. Wow, a lot of /'s there. Anyways, screw lofty dreams, aspirations what have you. I just want to get a good job that can pay living expenses and maybe extras (like XBOX 360 games :-) ) and that is my real dream, my realistic dream. I'm gonna take the four quarter medical coding certification and get a really good job with good money and I'll only have to spend one more year at Wal*Mart that way. This is the way I'll accomplish all my dreams; have the time to write, relax play games and the money to enjoy those things without cutting out payments to important things like utility bills, etc. At any rate, I intend to finish what I started for once, dammit. No shit. I know I've said a hundred times before that I was gonna get serious, etc but it's not just me that depends on this out - this out of borderline poverty - two kitties and a human being <-- all of which I love more than myself. And what's more, I'm tired of being a fuck-up loser and being poor. Enough's enough!

argh!

Snow is everywhere, I am stuck home and I just found out tonight that my copy of God of War no longer reads in the PS2! That's two unplayably broken games (Twilight at some point(s) stepped on my PSP & games holder thingie and broke the plastic window in on Dungeon Siege: Throne of Agony {well and Loco Roco a while back, but so far it still works} cos she's a fat-ass, and it won't load at all) and I am very upset. All the games I have right now are ones that I think are very good and are the ones I intend to keep forever for that reason. I don't want to have to keep getting replacement copies of games I already have because they won't work for whatever reason. I mean, yeah I have more pressing things to be upset or stressed about but still, WTF?

b-day wishes

Happy 45th, Mr. Izzard. You are perhaps officially too old for me to fantasize about... almost :-)

more...

...Gamespot crap
-------------------
Tracked Games (4)
Collection (10)
Wish List (4)
Now Playing (4)
About My Games I like action adventures of all sorts, virtual life, role-playing and puzzle games and basically anything with a lot of blood, killing and senseless violence. Save Changes10Number of Games: 8.1Average GameSpot Score: PlayStation 2 (5)Preferred Platform: $399.90Estimated Value: All Platforms PlayStation 2 PSP Platform:
I OwnTitle Platform Genre GS Score Users My Score
Burnout Legends PSP Racing 9.0 5066 9.6
Drakengard 2 PS2 Action Role-Playing 7.0 938 9.6
Dungeon Siege: Throne of Agony PSP Action Role-Playing 6.8 171 9.6
Gladius PS2 Fantasy Turn-Based Strategy 8.4 942 9.1
God of War PS2 Fantasy Action Adventure 9.3 25248 9.7
Gun Showdown PSP Historic Action Adventure 7.4 132 9.1
LocoRoco PSP 2D Platformer 7.7 982 9.4
Shadow of the Colossus PS2 Fantasy Action Adventure 8.7 11240 9.7
We Love Katamari PS2 Puzzle 8.4 3285 9.4
X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse PSP Action Role-Playing 8.4 1558 9.2
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How Dumb Are You?
A Rum and Monkey stupidity.

You're a killer whale
Take What kind of whale are you? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.

look, fun links!
visit my profile

my DeviantArt profile and extremely outdated gallery

visit an uber cool Queen website I just rediscovered tonight!

Rogerio es muy guapo

learn all about UBER GOTHS

more Darwinian Theory art

enjoy!

blog

I think my new goal is to push all the sad and negative stuff (hint, her name started with a C) all the way down until I can no longer view it on the front page of my blog and try to post positive things to see. That's the biggest reason I've been absent from blogging, because I can't stand looking at my own blog. I would delete the entries, but that would be like erasing a part of who I am so I can't do that. I can't explain why, but I can't delete it because I think I might need it sometime in the future - like, maybe to articulate my feelings from that specific time period. So, I'm going to leave it the way it is and try just to post, not look - at least until all that stuff is out of easy view for me. As much as I feel I don't deserve to, I know I must try to move on with my life and focus on the positive things to come- that I'm working toward. I'm going to school at Sinclair on financial aid and loans. I do have a loving kitty family, Twilight saved me. Brad and I have made some serious progress in our relationship and our life together (knock on wood). We're eagerly expecting our tax refunds so we can get an XBOX 360 and a couple of games. We're kind of handling our finances. I'm trying to look forward for once in my life - not back... of course - having a blog doesn't exactly denote that, does it? Pff- what can I say -
I'm a living contradiction my friends x

stuff from my gamespot page (yet again)

my collection page
About My Games:
I like action adventures of all sorts, virtual life, role-playing and puzzle games and basically anything with a lot of blood, killing and senseless violence.
Number of Games:12
Average GameSpot Score:7.8
Preferred Platform:PSP(7)
Estimated Value:$459.88
Drakengard 2 PS2 Action Role-Playing GS Score 7.0 My Score 9.6
Dungeon Siege: Throne of Agony PSP Action Role-Playing GS Score 6.8 My Score 9.6
Every Extend Extra PSP Shoot-'Em-Up GS Score 6.7
Gladius PS2 Fantasy Turn-Based Strategy GS Score 8.4 My Score 9.1
God of War PS2 Fantasy Action Adventure GS Score 9.3 My Score 9.7
Gun Showdown PSP Historic Action Adventure GS Score 7.4 My Score 9.1
Lemmings PSP Puzzle GS Score 8.0 My Score 9.2
LocoRoco PSP 2D Platformer GS Score 7.7 My Score 9.4
Scarface: Money. Power. Respect. PSP Modern Turn-Based Strategy GS Score 7.3 My Score 8.8
Shadow of the Colossus PS2 Fantasy Action Adventure GS Score 8.7 My Score 9.7
We Love Katamari PS2 Puzzle GS Score 8.4 My Score 9.4
X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse PSP Action Role-Playing GS Score 8.4 My Score 9.2

something positive (besides school and some other shit)

colossi_killer's Blog
r.i.p. gta
I made a trade at Gamestop (discovered there's been one right down the street all along ) and got Primal. I played the demo years ago at my cousin's house and liked it quite a bit. I figure $4 after trade-in, what did I have to lose? Could have gotten Rumble Roses for my own twisted pleasure but I figured I'd get more from a game from my favorite genre (Primal is a fantasy action adventure) than a game whose novelty would run out as quickly as every other game I've ever ended up selling or trading. Except for Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, (the game traded for Primal) its novelty lasted from the first time I played PS2 like four years ago to when I bought it to play on my former roommate's borrowed boyfriend's system about three years ago - to when I was completely without a PS2 unless I went to a friend's house or they brought their system to me - to when I bought the game to own again (I sold my copy due to no PS2 and hunger) once I actually got a PS2 of my very own this past Christmas. I did love that game but I always knew I'd never beat it and it got to the point where killing prostitutes and blowing up random s**t just wasn't as entertaining as it used to be. Anyway, Primal is really interesting so far and the game presentation is top notch. It doesn't seem three years old. I like it, I think it will be really fun.

-----------------------------------------

EDIT: Primal, though the presentation was great, the characters interesting and the premise good, was a very boring game. A lot of wandering around with no clear objective and a crappy map. I'm into exploring in games but knowing what I'm looking for or what I'm trying to accomplish gives me some direction and much more enjoyment than just wandering around the same area 15 million times with no idea what I'm supposed to be doing. Soooo... I took Primal back to Gamestop and, yes, picked up Rumble Roses. Hey, I like wrestling and wrestling games but other games never had enough as far as female characters and a story mode for a woman. It has nothing to do with watching scantily clad women go at it. Now, I have what I couldn't get with my boyfriend's extensive wrestling game collection. That's my story and I'm stickin to it!

---------------------------------

EDIT #2: Rumble Roses is pretty lacking in the story department (which is to be expected) but the graphics are great and the gameplay is lots of fun. It's great if you just don't take it seriously. And it's not as sexual as one would expect. It's actually a pretty decent wrestling game. Not a bad addition to the collection, not bad at all.
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Posted by colossi_killer, Aug 31, 2006 1:01 am ET 1 Comment
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change in plans
I'm gonna delete VP from my layaway and I'm gonna pay the PSP down to where I can buy the PetPet game (it's at another store so I can put it in with my PSP) and get it out and then I'll have VP and the game I'm gonna get for my boyfriend in as a new layaway that I'll get out like a month or so after that. Complicated, yes, but a brilliant plan nonetheless. You have to plan these things well when you're on a tight budget. It's going to make me so happy! I really need a good cheering up. (select an action below) ______________ Delete Message Edit Message View Edit History
Posted by colossi_killer, Aug 29, 2006 3:29 pm ET 0 Comments
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let the countdown begin!
I have 5 weeks or less before I will be the proud new owner of a PSP and a couple of games. I already added the two games I intend to start with to my collection on here. I've got Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth in layaway with the PSP (core system), a memory stick pro duo (I think 256megs will suffice for now, it was the smallest I could get) and a starter kit with a case, USB cable, etc. (all for less than I would have paid for the "value pack" and a game on their own) and close to when I get all that stuff out, I'm gonna buy the cute squishy Neopets PetPet Adventure game cos I just can't resist it! I'm so excited! Let the countdown begin - Happy Birthday to ME!! (select an action below) ______________ Delete Message Edit Message View Edit History
Posted by colossi_killer, Aug 27, 2006 10:31 pm ET 3 Comments

...

let's have a few moments of silence:
for Cleo, who was innocent but unfortunate (to say the least) and who we miss very much.
for Freddie Mercury, whose 60th birthday would have been today and whose legacy will continue to inspire and touch us all as long as we enjoy his music and enduring spirit.
and for Steve Irwin, whose fate was really not all that shocking and was probably somewhat overdue because of his daring, and often, apparent carelessness - but who also left behind a wife and two young children who loved him and, I'm sure, are devastated.

I hope their wild spirits and restless souls have found some peace in the hereafter.

...