angry letters

This is merely an intro because I'm now no way near as articulate with my complaints as I was earlier in my mind at work:

I'd like to begin by addressing the following Wal*Mart customers:

Beehive Bitch, the 50's called. They want their 6 foot high mass of teased hairspray-ridden hair back.

Jabba the Hut, please lose 300 lbs so you can walk on your own and the elderly (for whom the electric carts were originally intended, I'm sure) can have the motorized carts for their use.

[slow] Checkwriters, bring your own damn pen and please begin preparing your check as I scan your items so it's ready when it's time to pay.

Wishy-washy indecisive morons, if you have items you don't intend to purchase, please put them back before checkout. If you don't want that shit, what makes you think I do? I don't have room in my dinky-ass little register area to set that crap.

to be continued...

:-)