home is where the hell is

Me: is it wrong to pick an animal over another animal or even over a person?
Mom: what are you talking about?
Mom: cleo?
Me: I want to bring Cleo home where she belongs
Me: she belongs with me
Me: I can't even look at Sabbath now
Mom: well she was yours furst
Me: I won't let him near me and that's cruel to him
Mom: first
Me: and Brad's gonna notice that
Me: and i'm tired of pretending I'm ok when I'm kinda mental since she's been gone
Mom: you won't let Brad near you?
Me: and if he needs to take Sabbath to his brother's like he did offer when we were making the decision, so be it
Me: no Sabbath
Mom: tell him how you feel
Mom: tell him cleo was there first
Me: I promised I wouldn't resent him and Sabbath but I didn't know what I saying
Mom: well thast a good solution
Me: she's more than just a kitty to me
Mom: take his cat over to his brother
Me: she's my only real friend that provides unconditional love
Mom: I'm your friend
Me: and Sabbath's just a constant reminder
Me: well, she's - well, you know
Me: like Rusti is to you
Me: it's not fair
Mom: yes i understand
Me: I don't think i can live without her
Mom: well go get her
Me: it sounds sick but I think I could live without Brad better than I could live without her
Mom: me too
Me: she may have turned against them, but she's turned me against both of them too
Mom: but you know dogs and cats have shorter lives than humans
Mom: I miss Mindy still
Me: but she was supposed to spend that short life with me
Me: not some stranger
Mom: is she still up there
Me: she picked me, I didn't really pick her
Me: she should be, it's just been a few days
Mom: well go get her
Me: every day is worse than the previous one for me
Me: How do I tell him with his new job and all that I'm...
Mom: and have Brad take his cat this weekend to his brothers
Mom: tell him its making you physically ill
Mom: not to have her with you
Me: it's making me psychotic
Mom: he should understand
Me: uncontrollable fits of rage, mainly in the car which is unsafe
Me: shorter fuse than ever
Me: I cry whenever I'm alone, even when I go to the bathroom
Mom: u should be telling him about this not me
Me: I know
Me: I should let him have it
Mom: if he cares about you he'll let you go and get her back
Me: you and evryone at work are right
Me: even though I said I'd give it a week
Mom: well is he at work tonight?
Me: if i still felt this way, I'd just tell him to leave and that I was gonna get my baby back
Me: yeah, he's at work right now
Mom: the new job?
Me: yep
Mom: what time does he get home
Me: started yesterday
Me: 10ish
Mom: tell him your going to go get her tomorrow
Me: I think he needs to know I now pretty much hate Sabbath
Mom: how late are they open tonight
Me: I know it's not his fault but- in a way everything is his fault
Me: till 1
Me: maybe if he knows how i feel about Sabbath, he'll make the decision himself
Me: I just want my baby back where she belongs
Mom: well if you don't tell him I will you need to have Cleo back
Me: I'm gonna handle this but I can't go get her tomorrow even if I wanted to cos I have to work all day... well, and it's Saturday
Me: so i really can't do anything till next weekanyway
Mom: are they open on Sunday
Me: no
Mom: does brad work all weekend too
Me: I think so, why?
Mom: I was wondering if her could go and get Cleo
Mom: but if their closed on Sun
Mom: he
Me: can't happen during the weekend
Me: I've written down all my thoughts
Me: so I could really express myself well about the situation
Me: cos that's why i can never win an argument, I can't say what I'm really thinking and feeling very well without just exploding and saying ridiculous things
Mom: well I'd tell him tonight
Mom: if your this upset about it waiting is just going to make it worse
Me: I'll do my best to express myself as quick as I can
Me: I'm actually kinda banking on that
Me: it being worse
Me: he's asked me several times if I'm ok
Me: like mentally cos I guess I forget where i am all the time and act like I'm out of it all the time
Mom: I'm sure he'll understand its making you so upset u can't think straight
Me: I just need to find a good way to bring it up - an opener if you will
Me: I'm still collecting my thoughts
Mom: just be honest
Mom: sit him down and tell him whats on your mind
Me: I'm so nonconfrontational
Mom: tell him its killing you not to have Cleo at home
Me: damn my Libraness
Mom: need a popcicle habg on
Mom: hang
Mom: k
Me: I keot that thing in Layaway
Me: I figure $30 a week for 8 weeks, I can get it on my own
Mom: hang phone
Mom: it will be awhile
Me: what will?
Mom: on the phone
Me: oh
Me: well, I found a ghost show, so I guess I'm gonna distract myself with that for a while
Me: I expect to have Cleo home within a week no mater what
Me: I'll keep you posted
Mom: k
Mom: love you
Me: love you too