at your cervix

I have had more probing done in the last few months at the age of twenty-four than I think forty - fifty year old women have to go through. And I wish I had good news to report.

The fact is, it appears there's no disputing that I have human papillomavirus. I understand HPV is a sexually transmitted disease but that just attaches a giant stigma to a common and fairly benign virus. I read up on it before my colposcopy, which was yesterday, and I'm much less freaked out about it. If they find the reason my cervical cells have come back abnormal after not one but two pap smears is because of dysplasia, then that pretty much indicates I'm infected with the virus.

Who infected me out of the five partners I've had? I have a pretty good idea now that I know more facts. I'll give y'all a couple hints: He had an accent and I nicknamed him after a breakfast food. As everyone knows, there are no cures for viruses so I'd just have to be monitored until a.) it goes away on its own (which can take a couple of years) or b.) it appears it's here to stay and can't be fought off by my immune system and thus would have to be taken care of surgically. I shudder to think what they do with that considering they took two good chunks out of my cervix yesterday just for the biopsy.

On a lighter note, I'm looking for a new job. I've had it with Wal*Mart. Yeah, I got my hours back but I still haven't been given full time status, and I never will. They don't mind working me the hours but they refuse me to status. So they can work me whatever they want but I'll never earn the benefits I deserve. I'd bitch, but they'd just throw me back to 32 hours a week and we'd end up either losing our utilities, our home, or both. So, I'm applying to Target very soon and hoping the good things I hear about that place are true. I'm also waiting for word from Circuit City and Best Buy. Also, I filled out a FAFSA and put in my application to Sinclair Community College so, maybe I'll finally get a degree and a proper job and I won't ever have to set foot behind a cash register again. I just gotta figure out how to budget my time so I can work full time and go to school full time and not fall apart. Maybe if Brad gets that better job driving a fork lift at night I can work part time and it will make things much easier.

Well, I have a new movie (Dragonslayer, $5.50 at W*Mart!) and St. Patty's Day cupcakes waiting on me so...

Peace x

P.S.: I don't have the warts!