oh baby

Cindy: it's all good for now.....until next time. thanx for being a great listener cuz
Cindy:
Me: you leavin?
Cindy: no
Me: oh
Me: GAWD my boobs hurt
Cindy: that time? or was last night good?
Me: that time
Cindy: or perhaps you ran into a door
Cindy: I see
Me: been worse than usual
Me: and I was late again
Me: I bought a test and when i got home, my period had started
Cindy: last time I had one was in June or July...
Cindy: wow
Me: are you sure you're not pregnant?
Cindy: yes
Me: are your hormones just all fucked up or what
Me: ?
Cindy: yeah...I'd say
Cindy: I can tell something has gone wrong
Cindy: I am changing
Cindy: not so much a phisically
Cindy: but mentally
Cindy: like I can't stay focus
Me: hmm
Cindy: on things I use to love and enjoy
Me: I really thought I might be pregnant
Cindy: and I don't feel passionate about things anymore.......like I am blah
Cindy: blah with the world
Me: I'm sick in the mornings, I stuff my face in the evenings, my breasts are super sore, I was late, my abdomen has been looking really swollen and I haven't had normal PMS
Cindy: yikes
Me: I probably should still take that test
Cindy: yeah
Me: Kristin had her peiod when she was pregnant
Me: *period
Cindy: if you were do you know what you would do or ....you will get to that bridge when it gets here...if it does
Me: what do you mean?
Me: I wouldn't get an abortion if that's what you mean
Cindy: part of what I meant....
Cindy: you could take that question anyway you like it...
Cindy: I know I would be happy and sad all at the same time
Cindy: and I too would not abort it
Me: I'd be scared more than anything
Cindy: me too
Me: I know Brad would be here with me
Me: my mom would help
Me: I'd have to find some place else for us to live though and that's one of the worst parts
Cindy: she would be a grandma
Cindy: yeah
Me: I've thought about all that
Cindy: same here
Cindy: this house is much too small for a baby
Me: we'd have to at least get a two bedroom
Cindy has signed back in. (9/17/2005 11:51 PM)

Cindy: I think you will be alright
Me: yeah
Me: I think I'm just really irregular
Me: I don't have a very good diet, sleep deprived, spread a little too thin
Cindy: but if it so happens that you are pregnant or do become pregnant someday, I think you will be a wonderful mother and I bet that you will be surprised as well as many others but I won't.
Me: I think I'd be a crap mother
Me: Brad would be a great dad though
Me: he likes kids, good with them
Cindy: it is a nice thought, you as a mother.
Cindy: but not anytime in the near future
Cindy: because I know you are still living for you as I am still living for me....but someday I will be ready, or at least I think
Cindy: and of course, that is if my body allows it
Me: I'm all about the me
Cindy: I am the baby and I like it this way
Cindy: I don't like to share
Cindy: I do but it is different
Cindy: my biggest fear about having a child is jealousness
Cindy: brb
Me: my fear is irresponsibility and lack of interest
Me: I'm a little too into me
Cindy: *eating
Me: *watching ATWT